Dissonant Harmonies by Bev Vincent

Author:Bev Vincent
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Cemetery Dance Publications
Published: 2021-09-01T00:00:00+00:00

The Motel at the End of the World

Brian Keene

For Jeff Burk and Christoph Paul

It sounds funny when I write it out like this, but the whole damned thing—the end of the world and everything that’s happening—all started with the Berenstein Bears.

Or, the Berenstain Bears, if that’s how you remember them.

Of course, everybody remembers the Berenstain/Berenstein Bears—a family of anthropomorphic grizzly bears from a series of children’s books, right? I mean, come on. There’s like three-hundred books featuring them, as well as cartoons, movies, toys, lunchboxes, stuffed animals, and all kinds of other merchandising tie-ins. We all know who the Berenstain Bears are. Remembering them isn’t the problem.

The problem is remembering how they are spelled.

Alicia remembers them as Berenstein, same as me. BerenstEin, with an ‘Ei’. I’ll bet many of you remember them with an “Ei”, as well. But if you do a Google search or go to a bookstore or your local library, you’ll find out that they’re actually spelled with an “Ai”. BerenstAin. You might frown in confusion. You might argue, or insist they used to be spelled with an “Ei”. But you’ll be told that you’re misremembering, and that “Ai” is correct.

You’ll be told they were always spelled that way.

But this is wrong.

How can it be wrong? That’s what you’re asking, right? If you’re reading this, that is, and God, I hope somebody is reading this. Otherwise, what’s the fucking point? Things are getting crazy outside and the world is ending, and I’m spending what could very well be my last moments hunched over a desk in a cruddy motel room writing this shit down. So yes, I hope that somebody reads it, and if that person reading it is you, then you’re probably asking about the Berenstain Bears and how you remember them being spelled with an ‘E’, and how spelling them with an ‘A’ is incorrect. And I would agree with you, except it’s not. Google image search shows hundreds of book covers, and on all of those covers, Berenstain is spelled with an A. Wikipedia lists the series as spelled with an A, and says the married couple who wrote it spelled their names with an A. If you pull one of the books off your child’s shelf, or maybe dig your own nostalgic copies out of storage, they’re all spelled with an A.

So, it must have always been Berenstain with an A, right?

But if it was always spelled Berenstain, then why do thousands and thousands of people remember it being spelled with an E?

Here’s another one for you. Remember the Bible verse about the lion laying down with the lamb? That’s from the Book of Isaiah. It’s a famous verse about what happens when Jesus returns to Earth and there’s a thousand-year reign of peace or something. I don’t know the specifics. I’m not religious. Haven’t been for a long time. But my parents were, and they took me to church every Sunday. The preaching and singing were always boring, but I kind of liked Sunday School because we got to color pictures and play games.

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